Betsy and I have never met. She contacted be a month or so ago and requested I review her book. She promised to return the favor and I agreed. I think I got the better end of the deal.
I would not likely have read this book otherwise.
As I often say of my own work it is not a Christian book, it is a book by a Christian Author. This book IS a Christian book.
First, make no bones about it, I like this book. One of my all time favorite books is Richard Bach’s book “Illusions, the adventures of a reluctant messiah”. In many ways for me Betsy O. Thompson’s work picks up where Bach left off, his character of Donald is a messiah, Thompson’s central character is The Messiah, our Lord Jesus.
In the preface the author makes a case for emotional accountability. We are responsible for what comes back to us. We create our own reality.
The convention that Thompson uses of a dialogue with Jesus conveys a contemporary voice to Christ. Growing up in the church the only voice of Jesus in my mind was that of his teachings in the Gospel. It is a didactic, parental, teachers voice, but not intimate and personal. Thompson’s Jesus is natural, conversational, accessible and Human. The book is like watching Jesus on the Charley Rose show.
Founded on the premise that Everything seen is illusionary, everything felt is real, the title of the book is explained early on. Once this context is understood, then what follows is an enlightened story, very entertaining and deeply spiritual.
The book is filled with little proverbs or “truths” including one I firmly believe - DISAPPOINTMENT COMES FROM THINKING
THAT LIFE SHOULD BE DIFFERENT.
ENJOYMENT COMES FROM THINKING
THAT LIFE IS WONDERFUL THE WAY IT IS.
The worksheets at the end of each chapter provide a wonderful way for the reader to interact with the ideas of the book. This increases the impact of the experience of reading by almost forcing the reader to think about how they feel about the ideas they just “heard”.
If you are a Christian you will enjoy this work. If you have a personal relationship with Jesus, you will love it.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Summer Flew By
At the Dale Carnegie office here in Central New Jersey it was a little slow business wise this summer. I did get plenty of fishing in, and the time on the boat this year was enjoyable. My wife Heather and I are the tannest we have been in years (to the dismay of our dermatologist), from our days in the sun.
Now it is getting busy and I have to remind myself to be open to change and growth as a trainer. This is going to be for me a fall of re-inventing myself in the classroom. This story from my Brother-in-Law is a great reminder of what might be holding me back:
Stand Up
At the family lake house in Rochester New York Larry’s mother Mae, learned an important lesson about mental limitations.
The lake house is right on the water. Out back there is a dock that extends out into the lake. The dock is the traditional pilings in the lake bottom with a wooden deck type.
If anything, the dock is a bit thin in width. This makes it difficult for two people to pass by each other when walking on the dock. It also means that maintaining your balance, keeps you out of the drink.
This visit to the lake house was a hot summer day. Everyone was enjoying a cook out on the bank of the lake. The smell of hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill filled the air. Cold beer filled the cups, and lounging bodies filled the lawn chairs.
The water of the lake is crystal clear, so when you walk out on the dock, fish can often be seen swimming in water. Mae decided to go for a walk on the dock, to see what was lurking under the surface. She stood there for a good while enjoying the view. As she turned to head back, she lost her balance and fell into the water.
Mae’s head popped up, her arms flailed at the air, she screamed at the top of her lungs “help, help, I can’t swim. Help!” Larry’s dad panicked “somebody do something she’s going to drown”.
Just about this time, Larry came out of the house and witnessed the excitement. Knowing that Mae was in no real danger, Larry walked out onto the dock near where she was splashing around and calmly said “Mom, stand up for goodness sake, it’s only three feet deep”. Either she heard him clearly, or her feet managed to hit the bottom, because Mae did exactly what Larry suggested.
Mae stood there a moment, dripping wet, and shaking a little from her harrowing experience, but she was OK.
Mae’s fear, and panic came not from the actual situation, but rather from her self limiting perception. No doubt her thought process was something like this “Oh no, I fell in the water, I can not swim, I am going to drown”, This self imposed belief system, became a barrier to the simple solution of standing up in the relatively shallow water.
I think we all do this to ourselves from time to time. We learn what our limitations are, then we accept them as obstructions to keep us from achieving things beyond what we have convinced ourselves we can.
Richard Bach in his book “Illusions”, shares a quote that I think explains this self limitation best, he says: “argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they are yours”.
Now it is getting busy and I have to remind myself to be open to change and growth as a trainer. This is going to be for me a fall of re-inventing myself in the classroom. This story from my Brother-in-Law is a great reminder of what might be holding me back:
Stand Up
At the family lake house in Rochester New York Larry’s mother Mae, learned an important lesson about mental limitations.
The lake house is right on the water. Out back there is a dock that extends out into the lake. The dock is the traditional pilings in the lake bottom with a wooden deck type.
If anything, the dock is a bit thin in width. This makes it difficult for two people to pass by each other when walking on the dock. It also means that maintaining your balance, keeps you out of the drink.
This visit to the lake house was a hot summer day. Everyone was enjoying a cook out on the bank of the lake. The smell of hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill filled the air. Cold beer filled the cups, and lounging bodies filled the lawn chairs.
The water of the lake is crystal clear, so when you walk out on the dock, fish can often be seen swimming in water. Mae decided to go for a walk on the dock, to see what was lurking under the surface. She stood there for a good while enjoying the view. As she turned to head back, she lost her balance and fell into the water.
Mae’s head popped up, her arms flailed at the air, she screamed at the top of her lungs “help, help, I can’t swim. Help!” Larry’s dad panicked “somebody do something she’s going to drown”.
Just about this time, Larry came out of the house and witnessed the excitement. Knowing that Mae was in no real danger, Larry walked out onto the dock near where she was splashing around and calmly said “Mom, stand up for goodness sake, it’s only three feet deep”. Either she heard him clearly, or her feet managed to hit the bottom, because Mae did exactly what Larry suggested.
Mae stood there a moment, dripping wet, and shaking a little from her harrowing experience, but she was OK.
Mae’s fear, and panic came not from the actual situation, but rather from her self limiting perception. No doubt her thought process was something like this “Oh no, I fell in the water, I can not swim, I am going to drown”, This self imposed belief system, became a barrier to the simple solution of standing up in the relatively shallow water.
I think we all do this to ourselves from time to time. We learn what our limitations are, then we accept them as obstructions to keep us from achieving things beyond what we have convinced ourselves we can.
Richard Bach in his book “Illusions”, shares a quote that I think explains this self limitation best, he says: “argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they are yours”.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Beach Satire, post Memorial Day
This piece is titled "Hole Diggers". It is satire, and I wrote it sitting in my beach chair in Myrtle Beach SC a couple of years ago. I had just watched two people trip in holes that kids had dug in the surf.
Enjoy:
Warning! Watch out for the race of creatures known as Hole Diggers. They are dangerous and a menace to our beaches and shoreline.
These small creatures look like little human beings with large heads, which appear on beaches in mid June each year. Many people believe they come up from out of the sand when the sun warms the beach to a critical temperature.
Sometimes they are organized and work in teams, others are single units working individually. They all have some commonalities; Hole Diggers are usually wet, and covered in sand (often seen piling sand on themselves or others), they use tools such as miniature shovels and brightly colored buckets, in the absence of tools they are quite articulate with the use of their hands to dig holes.
Most often the Hole Diggers conduct their mischief right at the waters edge, but sometimes they choose to work in the dryer sand a few yards up from the surf line. It is clear that they value the depth and diameter of the holes they dig, the bigger the better.
Be certain of this, the Hole Diggers are malevolent in nature, they dig their holes and leave them hoping someone will fall into them and twist their ankle, knee, or worse. It has even been observed where a family of three Hole Diggers has successfully buried a man up to his neck, obviously they were trying to suffocate the poor unsuspecting fellow. Sure they are cute, but remember they are out to get you.
While strolling the waters edge watch out for the little buggers they will run right into you if you do not pay attention to them. Hole Diggers have no awareness of your presence and are random in their movements. Illogical and with great energy they run back and forth in the ocean wash. Pay attention, they will knock you over easily.
The best news of all is that the Hole Diggers vanish mysteriously right after Labor Day each year. It is much safer to go to the beach in late September or early October.
There is a theory that the Hole Diggers dig really deep holes at the end of the season and climb in with their tools, pulling the sand in over their heads. There they hibernate all winter long until the sun warms the sand again in the spring signaling their rise from the earth to reek havoc on beaches everywhere.
Some people say the Hole Diggers are mythical creatures like snipes. I know this is not so, I see them everywhere. The call of the creature usually sounds like “Mommee, Maaaaomee, Maaaaaaaaaaomee” many times repeated at a very loud volume, and seems to drive some women and men insane. Beware the Hole Diggers.
Enjoy:
Warning! Watch out for the race of creatures known as Hole Diggers. They are dangerous and a menace to our beaches and shoreline.
These small creatures look like little human beings with large heads, which appear on beaches in mid June each year. Many people believe they come up from out of the sand when the sun warms the beach to a critical temperature.
Sometimes they are organized and work in teams, others are single units working individually. They all have some commonalities; Hole Diggers are usually wet, and covered in sand (often seen piling sand on themselves or others), they use tools such as miniature shovels and brightly colored buckets, in the absence of tools they are quite articulate with the use of their hands to dig holes.
Most often the Hole Diggers conduct their mischief right at the waters edge, but sometimes they choose to work in the dryer sand a few yards up from the surf line. It is clear that they value the depth and diameter of the holes they dig, the bigger the better.
Be certain of this, the Hole Diggers are malevolent in nature, they dig their holes and leave them hoping someone will fall into them and twist their ankle, knee, or worse. It has even been observed where a family of three Hole Diggers has successfully buried a man up to his neck, obviously they were trying to suffocate the poor unsuspecting fellow. Sure they are cute, but remember they are out to get you.
While strolling the waters edge watch out for the little buggers they will run right into you if you do not pay attention to them. Hole Diggers have no awareness of your presence and are random in their movements. Illogical and with great energy they run back and forth in the ocean wash. Pay attention, they will knock you over easily.
The best news of all is that the Hole Diggers vanish mysteriously right after Labor Day each year. It is much safer to go to the beach in late September or early October.
There is a theory that the Hole Diggers dig really deep holes at the end of the season and climb in with their tools, pulling the sand in over their heads. There they hibernate all winter long until the sun warms the sand again in the spring signaling their rise from the earth to reek havoc on beaches everywhere.
Some people say the Hole Diggers are mythical creatures like snipes. I know this is not so, I see them everywhere. The call of the creature usually sounds like “Mommee, Maaaaomee, Maaaaaaaaaaomee” many times repeated at a very loud volume, and seems to drive some women and men insane. Beware the Hole Diggers.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Do The Right Thing
The work I have been doing on a letter to the editor recently has got me thinking about people who do the right thing even when it flies in the face of conventional wisdom. With out being too political suffice it to say that my letter is regarding the educational system in NJ, I have many friends who are teachers, to their dismay I side with Governor and the President on this issue.
Here's a story about someone who did the right thing:
It was the sobbing that caught Myrle Neal’s attention as she walked past the door of room 1722 in Proverbs Hospital, early in her Nursing shift that night. It was the sound of a little boy’s cry, voiced by a baritone man, and it sent a dagger into her heart.
Myrle knew the patient in 1722; of course she did. It was Jacob the custodian.
Jacob had worked at this Chicago hospital for his entire adult life, if you could call it that. Though Jacob was actually 37 years of age, he had the mental capacity of a 9 year old. That’s what the psychologists said anyway. A rather responsible 9 year old at that, for Jacob was always on time to work, and never missed a day. Jacob was detail oriented in his accomplishment of tasks, and understood the importance of cleanliness to the hospital.
Jacob was now a patient, Jacob was very ill. Jacob had inoperable cancer, he was dying, and he was in pain.
Myrle entered the room. Jacob liked Myrle, he stopped crying to talk with her.
“Why are you crying Jacob?” Myrle asked. “Are you in pain right now?”
“It hurts a lil” Jacob replied, “but that’s not hows come um cryin,” He said.
“Well, why are you crying then?” Myrle asked.
“I wish my Mommy was here, that’s why,” Jacob said.
Myrle was aware that Jacobs Mother had passed away a couple of years ago leaving him to be taken care of in a group home. Up until her death Jacob’s Mother took care of him, like she would a young child. It was what he needed.
“If your Mother was here right now, what do you think she would do for you Jacob?”
“She would hold me, and rub my back,” Jacob said.
So Myrle pushed back her feeling of awkwardness, and did a courageous thing.
Myrle told Jacob to move over a little in the bed, she sat down next to him, and with a Mothers embrace, she pulled him in close. Jacob cried a little more, so Myrle rubbed his back.
It took a while. It put her behind on her floor duties, and it was against protocol, but soon Jacob was sleeping peacefully.
That night Jacob had the first good night’s sleep he had had in weeks. Well rested, Jacob had a pretty good day when he woke up, as well.
What a gift Myrle had given Jacob.
Nursing isn’t only about administering medicine, taking vital signs, and keeping accurate chart records. A truly great nurse ministers to the soul as well as the body.
Here's a story about someone who did the right thing:
It was the sobbing that caught Myrle Neal’s attention as she walked past the door of room 1722 in Proverbs Hospital, early in her Nursing shift that night. It was the sound of a little boy’s cry, voiced by a baritone man, and it sent a dagger into her heart.
Myrle knew the patient in 1722; of course she did. It was Jacob the custodian.
Jacob had worked at this Chicago hospital for his entire adult life, if you could call it that. Though Jacob was actually 37 years of age, he had the mental capacity of a 9 year old. That’s what the psychologists said anyway. A rather responsible 9 year old at that, for Jacob was always on time to work, and never missed a day. Jacob was detail oriented in his accomplishment of tasks, and understood the importance of cleanliness to the hospital.
Jacob was now a patient, Jacob was very ill. Jacob had inoperable cancer, he was dying, and he was in pain.
Myrle entered the room. Jacob liked Myrle, he stopped crying to talk with her.
“Why are you crying Jacob?” Myrle asked. “Are you in pain right now?”
“It hurts a lil” Jacob replied, “but that’s not hows come um cryin,” He said.
“Well, why are you crying then?” Myrle asked.
“I wish my Mommy was here, that’s why,” Jacob said.
Myrle was aware that Jacobs Mother had passed away a couple of years ago leaving him to be taken care of in a group home. Up until her death Jacob’s Mother took care of him, like she would a young child. It was what he needed.
“If your Mother was here right now, what do you think she would do for you Jacob?”
“She would hold me, and rub my back,” Jacob said.
So Myrle pushed back her feeling of awkwardness, and did a courageous thing.
Myrle told Jacob to move over a little in the bed, she sat down next to him, and with a Mothers embrace, she pulled him in close. Jacob cried a little more, so Myrle rubbed his back.
It took a while. It put her behind on her floor duties, and it was against protocol, but soon Jacob was sleeping peacefully.
That night Jacob had the first good night’s sleep he had had in weeks. Well rested, Jacob had a pretty good day when he woke up, as well.
What a gift Myrle had given Jacob.
Nursing isn’t only about administering medicine, taking vital signs, and keeping accurate chart records. A truly great nurse ministers to the soul as well as the body.
Friday, April 2, 2010
A Business Oxymoron
Here is an observation as a trainer working with managers from hundreds of different companies. All companies will tell you that the customer is the most important person to their business.
If that is true than why would some companies put their lowest paid (pay is a symbol of the value that the company see’s in that individual), lowest educated, least experienced, and often brand new employee in a position which has the highest amount of face time with their customer? This situation is seen in banking, retail, and many sales organizations.
Not too long ago I had a customer service issue with my wireless telephone provider. We needed a phone for the third line we were carrying but not using. The phone needed to be easy to use, as it was for my wife’s 75 year old mother.
I wanted to pay less than 29.99 (truthfully I was willing to go a little more than that) as that was the price for a prepaid smart phone which would also solve the problem.
I was introduced to Chip the customer service representative. Chip is a good kid, and a fine employee. I am certain that he was following procedure. I explained to Chip what I wanted to do. The best offer he could make was $115.00 (after rebate) if I sign for a new 2 year contract. The second option would be $179.00 if I did not upgrade the contract.
WAY, way too much money for a phone Mom is likely to loose (she is getting forgetful these days).
I expressed my disappointment and asked Chip “what can you do to satisfy this customer with this situation?” The trained text book response came from his mouth “I gave you two options, that is the best I can do”
“Neither of those are satisfactory Chip” I replied, “help me out here”.
Firmly holding his ground “That is the best I can do”.
BANG! Their zealot customer was lost. I saw red.
The poor kid is an impotent customer service representative, made so by the limitations of his non-empowerment. He did not ask “What would fix this for you Mr. Walker” “What seems fair?” Not in the script, no doubt. Policy is policy, and all that.
Heads up my friends your policy is poison when it fails to delight your customer. This is not you against the customer. This is you for the customer.
In the end after considerable escalation on my part, I sent an email to 50 or so VP’s that I tracked down on the internet. The final outcome was that I got a free phone. That’s not what I wanted. I was willing to pay a fair price.
The point is that the person with the capability to solve the problem and delight the customer was no where near the point of customer contact.
Really, you must agree that this is counter intuitive.
Imagine if face time with the customer in these industries was an honor to be earned by proving a depth of knowledge and experience with the organization. Imagine if the policy were “no one gets to provide service to the customer with out a minimum of 2 years of experience, and a customer interaction certification (which carries respect and a significant pay increase)”. Individuals with this level of experience and depth of knowledge wear a sense of confidence that instantly gives them credibility with the customer.
We all know that the person who solved my problem is paid 5 times what Chip is paid and has a great depth of experience with the company and the power to take action.
The reputation of a company that would dare to do such a thing would become legendary. Actually it has. In many ways we are describing the customer service philosophies of Southwest Airlines. They are proof that putting experienced, knowledgeable, empowered people in front of your customers works.
If that is true than why would some companies put their lowest paid (pay is a symbol of the value that the company see’s in that individual), lowest educated, least experienced, and often brand new employee in a position which has the highest amount of face time with their customer? This situation is seen in banking, retail, and many sales organizations.
Not too long ago I had a customer service issue with my wireless telephone provider. We needed a phone for the third line we were carrying but not using. The phone needed to be easy to use, as it was for my wife’s 75 year old mother.
I wanted to pay less than 29.99 (truthfully I was willing to go a little more than that) as that was the price for a prepaid smart phone which would also solve the problem.
I was introduced to Chip the customer service representative. Chip is a good kid, and a fine employee. I am certain that he was following procedure. I explained to Chip what I wanted to do. The best offer he could make was $115.00 (after rebate) if I sign for a new 2 year contract. The second option would be $179.00 if I did not upgrade the contract.
WAY, way too much money for a phone Mom is likely to loose (she is getting forgetful these days).
I expressed my disappointment and asked Chip “what can you do to satisfy this customer with this situation?” The trained text book response came from his mouth “I gave you two options, that is the best I can do”
“Neither of those are satisfactory Chip” I replied, “help me out here”.
Firmly holding his ground “That is the best I can do”.
BANG! Their zealot customer was lost. I saw red.
The poor kid is an impotent customer service representative, made so by the limitations of his non-empowerment. He did not ask “What would fix this for you Mr. Walker” “What seems fair?” Not in the script, no doubt. Policy is policy, and all that.
Heads up my friends your policy is poison when it fails to delight your customer. This is not you against the customer. This is you for the customer.
In the end after considerable escalation on my part, I sent an email to 50 or so VP’s that I tracked down on the internet. The final outcome was that I got a free phone. That’s not what I wanted. I was willing to pay a fair price.
The point is that the person with the capability to solve the problem and delight the customer was no where near the point of customer contact.
Really, you must agree that this is counter intuitive.
Imagine if face time with the customer in these industries was an honor to be earned by proving a depth of knowledge and experience with the organization. Imagine if the policy were “no one gets to provide service to the customer with out a minimum of 2 years of experience, and a customer interaction certification (which carries respect and a significant pay increase)”. Individuals with this level of experience and depth of knowledge wear a sense of confidence that instantly gives them credibility with the customer.
We all know that the person who solved my problem is paid 5 times what Chip is paid and has a great depth of experience with the company and the power to take action.
The reputation of a company that would dare to do such a thing would become legendary. Actually it has. In many ways we are describing the customer service philosophies of Southwest Airlines. They are proof that putting experienced, knowledgeable, empowered people in front of your customers works.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Drivers of Success
(Click on title above for link to article)
The Dale Carnegie Immersion Seminar here at our Bordentown location started on Weds March 10. We were looking at the 5 drivers of success in the class.
The drivers are: Self-confidence, people skills, communication skills, leadership, and controlling our attitude or stress management.
The participants in the session concluded that these key concepts are pivotal to the on going viability of individuals in all business situations. Recently my friend Kevin Sensenig wrote an article about these concepts in Quality Magazine. The link above will give you his article. I highly suggest that you read it.
Kevin is VP of Organizational Development with Dale Carnegie and Associates, and more importantly he is an insightful writer. You will find Kevin's thoughts to be creative, and applicable. The best idea's are the one's with highest "stickiness" factor and this article has Gorilla glue in it.
The Dale Carnegie Immersion Seminar here at our Bordentown location started on Weds March 10. We were looking at the 5 drivers of success in the class.
The drivers are: Self-confidence, people skills, communication skills, leadership, and controlling our attitude or stress management.
The participants in the session concluded that these key concepts are pivotal to the on going viability of individuals in all business situations. Recently my friend Kevin Sensenig wrote an article about these concepts in Quality Magazine. The link above will give you his article. I highly suggest that you read it.
Kevin is VP of Organizational Development with Dale Carnegie and Associates, and more importantly he is an insightful writer. You will find Kevin's thoughts to be creative, and applicable. The best idea's are the one's with highest "stickiness" factor and this article has Gorilla glue in it.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Public Speaking Lesson
OK a year and four months from my first post -- I said this is new to me. In that time it is funny how things have come full circle. I am currently preparing for the upcoming High Impact Presentations Workshop to be presented here at our office on March 22 and 29.
So, a little sheepishly here is the story of how I learned the hard way that you, the presenter, have to take responsibility for what you deliver and not become a victim of the situation.
“Dale Carnegie be Damned” was the welcome I got as I took the podium once to deliver a club talk. A drunken old dentist at one of the front tables apparently felt compelled to voice his opinion regarding human relations. The talk was titled “9 Ideas to Manage Your Office More Effectively”. It was downhill from there. This was one of my earliest talks, I gave for an association of dentists, and their staffs.
Sometimes I learn a huge amount from a single experience, this was one of those incidents.
Richard Bach, in his book Illusions has a quote that says “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in it’s hands, you seek problems because you need their gifts”.
I’m here to tell you I got Santa’s bag full of gifts that night.
I arrived 30 minutes early to set up for my talk. The dentists and their associates were at the bar, getting happy. I went upstairs to the banquet room, I observed that the microphone was attached to the podium, I mean screwed down eternally (I figured maybe the previous speaker liberated the last one). The flip chart easel was about 10 feet away from the speaking area. The room was lit in a romantic style, with candles on the tables, nice ambiance if you were amorously inclined toward the person sitting next to you. Catastrophic lighting if you were expected to command the room as a presenter. The round tables seated 10 people, half of whom had their backs to the podium, given my novice experience at the time it may have been their blessing, but it was my curse.
With all of these elements in place, I put my visual aids where I wanted them, and sat down to eat dinner.
Just as we finished dinner, I asked one of the servers if they knew anyone who could turn the lights up. The response was less than enthusiastic, and the final answer was that the person who knew how to do it, had gone home. This was the setting we had for the night. After dinner was concluded, the meeting planner got up and read my introduction. Several people actually listened. Then, I was on.
No one moved. Not a single person repositioned their chairs to face the front of the space. As I began I had already lost 50% of the room. Then of course the goodwill ambassador at the front table made his remark, and I felt the butterflies go in every direction. So now, I got mad. Add an attitude problem to the mix of other circumstances, and you try to deliver a talk on effective human relation skills. I was doomed!
I opened with a quick story about a card playing friend of mine, which is a setup for a magic trick with cards that I use as an attention getter. The final tag line on this bit is that “you are going to learn a few ideas tonight, which will help you to stack the deck in your favor, when it comes to managing people”. The table I sat at applauded this.
Everyone else in the room turned to look at that table, wondering what they had just missed.
Moving into the body of my talk, I attempted to make the leap back and forth from the microphone to the flip chart to illustrate my points. I think I looked like the plate spinning guy on the Ed Sullivan Show. It didn’t matter much as the few people who were listening to me had gotten pulled into the conversations at their respective tables. I think the only audience I had at that point was the meeting planner and her husband.
I reached the point where I was done. My talk was not finished, but I was done. I made a remark or two alluding to the fact that I hoped they had benefited from my ideas, and turned it back over to the meeting planner. She got a halfhearted round of applause from a few people and we both sat down.
What an embarrassment. I had worked hard to prepare my talk. The content was strong, and it had worked terrifically a week earlier at a leadership function. The AT&T group had sent in a fantastic testimonial letter on this same presentation, after I presented it to their group. I couldn’t understand what had happened to sabotage my talk that night. Why did it crash and burn like that?
For several weeks I thought about why this had happened, and what I could do to keep a disaster like this from scarring my reputation in the future.
Several conclusions surfaced, and to this day these are the guidelines I use to ensure a success whenever I speak to a group of people:
1. Find out in advance what will be happening before and after you are speaking (is there a cocktail hour?) The state of mind of the audience is important.
2. Know your audience. Ask the meeting planner for demographics of the group such as; education, position in company, age range, ratio of men to women.
3. Give the meeting planner specific minimum requirements for the success of the presentation, things like; bright lighting in the room, detachable microphone with enough cord to move around, blank flip chart pads with fresh markers, and anything else you personally need to be an excellent speaker.
4. From the moment you arrive, take charge. It is your responsibility to give them a fantastic delivery of your talk, do what ever it takes to make that happen. Don’t be rude, be persistent, and firm. They are expecting you to do well.
5. Before you begin to speak, facilitate the room into a configuration that will allow everyone to see you. I have even asked people to move their chairs onto the dance floor, and set it up theatre style, when that made the most sense.
These 5 simple guidelines have made a world of difference in the success of my talks and the impact I have on an audience. Never be a victim to the circumstances, be proactive and you will be dynamic.
So, a little sheepishly here is the story of how I learned the hard way that you, the presenter, have to take responsibility for what you deliver and not become a victim of the situation.
“Dale Carnegie be Damned” was the welcome I got as I took the podium once to deliver a club talk. A drunken old dentist at one of the front tables apparently felt compelled to voice his opinion regarding human relations. The talk was titled “9 Ideas to Manage Your Office More Effectively”. It was downhill from there. This was one of my earliest talks, I gave for an association of dentists, and their staffs.
Sometimes I learn a huge amount from a single experience, this was one of those incidents.
Richard Bach, in his book Illusions has a quote that says “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in it’s hands, you seek problems because you need their gifts”.
I’m here to tell you I got Santa’s bag full of gifts that night.
I arrived 30 minutes early to set up for my talk. The dentists and their associates were at the bar, getting happy. I went upstairs to the banquet room, I observed that the microphone was attached to the podium, I mean screwed down eternally (I figured maybe the previous speaker liberated the last one). The flip chart easel was about 10 feet away from the speaking area. The room was lit in a romantic style, with candles on the tables, nice ambiance if you were amorously inclined toward the person sitting next to you. Catastrophic lighting if you were expected to command the room as a presenter. The round tables seated 10 people, half of whom had their backs to the podium, given my novice experience at the time it may have been their blessing, but it was my curse.
With all of these elements in place, I put my visual aids where I wanted them, and sat down to eat dinner.
Just as we finished dinner, I asked one of the servers if they knew anyone who could turn the lights up. The response was less than enthusiastic, and the final answer was that the person who knew how to do it, had gone home. This was the setting we had for the night. After dinner was concluded, the meeting planner got up and read my introduction. Several people actually listened. Then, I was on.
No one moved. Not a single person repositioned their chairs to face the front of the space. As I began I had already lost 50% of the room. Then of course the goodwill ambassador at the front table made his remark, and I felt the butterflies go in every direction. So now, I got mad. Add an attitude problem to the mix of other circumstances, and you try to deliver a talk on effective human relation skills. I was doomed!
I opened with a quick story about a card playing friend of mine, which is a setup for a magic trick with cards that I use as an attention getter. The final tag line on this bit is that “you are going to learn a few ideas tonight, which will help you to stack the deck in your favor, when it comes to managing people”. The table I sat at applauded this.
Everyone else in the room turned to look at that table, wondering what they had just missed.
Moving into the body of my talk, I attempted to make the leap back and forth from the microphone to the flip chart to illustrate my points. I think I looked like the plate spinning guy on the Ed Sullivan Show. It didn’t matter much as the few people who were listening to me had gotten pulled into the conversations at their respective tables. I think the only audience I had at that point was the meeting planner and her husband.
I reached the point where I was done. My talk was not finished, but I was done. I made a remark or two alluding to the fact that I hoped they had benefited from my ideas, and turned it back over to the meeting planner. She got a halfhearted round of applause from a few people and we both sat down.
What an embarrassment. I had worked hard to prepare my talk. The content was strong, and it had worked terrifically a week earlier at a leadership function. The AT&T group had sent in a fantastic testimonial letter on this same presentation, after I presented it to their group. I couldn’t understand what had happened to sabotage my talk that night. Why did it crash and burn like that?
For several weeks I thought about why this had happened, and what I could do to keep a disaster like this from scarring my reputation in the future.
Several conclusions surfaced, and to this day these are the guidelines I use to ensure a success whenever I speak to a group of people:
1. Find out in advance what will be happening before and after you are speaking (is there a cocktail hour?) The state of mind of the audience is important.
2. Know your audience. Ask the meeting planner for demographics of the group such as; education, position in company, age range, ratio of men to women.
3. Give the meeting planner specific minimum requirements for the success of the presentation, things like; bright lighting in the room, detachable microphone with enough cord to move around, blank flip chart pads with fresh markers, and anything else you personally need to be an excellent speaker.
4. From the moment you arrive, take charge. It is your responsibility to give them a fantastic delivery of your talk, do what ever it takes to make that happen. Don’t be rude, be persistent, and firm. They are expecting you to do well.
5. Before you begin to speak, facilitate the room into a configuration that will allow everyone to see you. I have even asked people to move their chairs onto the dance floor, and set it up theatre style, when that made the most sense.
These 5 simple guidelines have made a world of difference in the success of my talks and the impact I have on an audience. Never be a victim to the circumstances, be proactive and you will be dynamic.
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