Summer Flew By

At the Dale Carnegie office here in Central New Jersey it was a little slow business wise this summer. I did get plenty of fishing in, and the time on the boat this year was enjoyable. My wife Heather and I are the tannest we have been in years (to the dismay of our dermatologist), from our days in the sun.

Now it is getting busy and I have to remind myself to be open to change and growth as a trainer. This is going to be for me a fall of re-inventing myself in the classroom. This story from my Brother-in-Law is a great reminder of what might be holding me back:

Stand Up

At the family lake house in Rochester New York Larry’s mother Mae, learned an important lesson about mental limitations.

The lake house is right on the water. Out back there is a dock that extends out into the lake. The dock is the traditional pilings in the lake bottom with a wooden deck type.

If anything, the dock is a bit thin in width. This makes it difficult for two people to pass by each other when walking on the dock. It also means that maintaining your balance, keeps you out of the drink.

This visit to the lake house was a hot summer day. Everyone was enjoying a cook out on the bank of the lake. The smell of hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill filled the air. Cold beer filled the cups, and lounging bodies filled the lawn chairs.

The water of the lake is crystal clear, so when you walk out on the dock, fish can often be seen swimming in water. Mae decided to go for a walk on the dock, to see what was lurking under the surface. She stood there for a good while enjoying the view. As she turned to head back, she lost her balance and fell into the water.

Mae’s head popped up, her arms flailed at the air, she screamed at the top of her lungs “help, help, I can’t swim. Help!” Larry’s dad panicked “somebody do something she’s going to drown”.

Just about this time, Larry came out of the house and witnessed the excitement. Knowing that Mae was in no real danger, Larry walked out onto the dock near where she was splashing around and calmly said “Mom, stand up for goodness sake, it’s only three feet deep”. Either she heard him clearly, or her feet managed to hit the bottom, because Mae did exactly what Larry suggested.

Mae stood there a moment, dripping wet, and shaking a little from her harrowing experience, but she was OK.

Mae’s fear, and panic came not from the actual situation, but rather from her self limiting perception. No doubt her thought process was something like this “Oh no, I fell in the water, I can not swim, I am going to drown”, This self imposed belief system, became a barrier to the simple solution of standing up in the relatively shallow water.

I think we all do this to ourselves from time to time. We learn what our limitations are, then we accept them as obstructions to keep us from achieving things beyond what we have convinced ourselves we can.

Richard Bach in his book “Illusions”, shares a quote that I think explains this self limitation best, he says: “argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they are yours”.